Everything, absolutely everything was boiling down to this one moment in my long-lived life at such a young age of 16. This one decision that could make me so happy turned out to be the hardest thing I had experienced. I thought it would've been so easy in the beginning and I wouldn't have had to think twice about it, but now my thoughts were at an official stand still. I look back and forth between their two faces. Their expressions told me that I hadn't long to defeat the impossible and just answer them. The source of all my troubles were of course like almost every other story out there... love. Such an intense and twisted love in fact that it was too much for one person to handle. It spilled over and entwined not two but three hearts as if our emotions were in a monsoon season. It was just like a midsummer night's dream, although there was nothing funny about our situation and there were no beautiful faeries to lust after. Sometimes I like to think about if Shakespeare knew that he was a psychic. See there's an obvious issue with being in love with two men when they love you back... There's TWO of them. It's completely unfair no matter how often one may have butchered his chances for full attention. The worst part of this unsettling love triangle is the fact that I loved two brothers, quite identical. Twins in fact, but they were two totally different people all together. I want you to understand why all this is happening, but you need to bear with me if you're willing to know the whole story. Before calling me a whore, or a slut or whatever it might be, just understand where this is all coming from. It won't be a simple thing to explain but, it might at least be interesting. If I could just remember where all of this started.
7 months prior.
I honestly think I can say this is the single worse outing I've ever experienced in the short time I've even had a love life. I stared at my date from across the wood bench that served as a table. I assumed that the glossy finish over the oak that used to be a tree was supposed to look well nice. Though, it made for uncomfortable seating with the roughly sanded knots and an unevenness that gave one the illusion of sliding out of their chair onto the dirty ground with peanut shells ground into the carpet by traffic of waiters. I couldn't hear him talking. Well I couldn't hear the words that he was saying. It was more of a low subtle humming in my ears that perfectly matched his lip movement that were a split second away from turning into a blur. I was sure he hadn't much more important to say since the most friendly he got tonight was in his car when he decided we didn't really need to go see a movie. He lost that one quickly. But here I am stuck with him to please my father who thought he'd be suitable for a upper-class teenager like myself. Dead wrong. My chicken salad sat in front of me untouched. The creamy french dressing in a small plastic container on the side just as sound as any of it's partners on the oval dim pearl coloured plate. I figured since he suggested I be an acceptable girl and order a salad instead of the steak that I was eyeing I might as well not eat and please him extra since that was "my goal of the night" so to speak. Besides the nausea in my gut was persistent tonight and I didn't feel like coaxing it into progressing to something far worse and more embarrassing. I shouldn't have expected much else of my father. He was a privileged white,--well he was white before he layed out in the "sun" for what looked like hours on end and turned into beef jerky.
Spiky yellow and clearly bleached unnatural hair, messily gelled into inch long spikes. Disgustingly perfect white teeth and equally disturbing body build. I was just wondering how many hours he spent in the gym trying to burst out of his pink polo that looked so tight he might have owned it from such a young age as when I learned to ride a bike without training wheels when something triggered my consciousness.
"So it turns out, I had something called mono sudo's avenge..."
"You mean Montezuma's revenge?" I didn't mean to speak but my subconscious bid me speak. I had studied the horrible European invasion for my last term paper. Infatuated with the irony in this disease. He took a bear of a bite out of his burger, and didn't bother to hardly even chew his food before he spoke next.
"Um, I'm pretty sure that's what I said... Anyway...." More humming. I sighed and let him continue his pointless rant. Just about another 20 minutes of this and I'd be back home. Comfortable and telling my few friends what a terrible experience this memory to be was. I wasn't exactly watching when it happened but I assumed he threw his burger onto his plate so vigorously that it shook the table. But all I know was that my coca-cola had toppled over and the thick stream was careening toward the edge and then spilled directly onto my unsuspecting lap. I flung myself away from the table and stood up as quickly as I possible could rather flabbergasted. He just chuckled a little, more than half a bite still lingered in his mouth. I tried brushing of the liquid as best as possible.
"HAHAH, you look ridiculous!"
"I bet you'd look ridiculous if I took what's left of your drink and..." I couldn't' help but mutter to myself.
"Hey, you should be thankful! I took you to a wonderful movie and a romantic restaurant, and I haven't gotten anything in return all night long except having to keep a conversation going with you. How about some appreciation girly?!"
"G-GIRLY!?! Listen here and listen good. Although you may not care, nice, respectable girls who still have a shred of humanity do not put out when just meeting a guy after the first five minutes of being together. Not even after, a horrible movie I had to buy a ticket to and some "romantic" restaurant outing. Being a girl who also respects herself I am NOT going home with you tonight but will in fact be taken home by curfew if you don't mind."
"Well, if that's really how you feel. Then I guess I'll be on my way...."
"What do you mean? You still have yet to drive me home... It's extremely ruthless to deny your date a ride back home. My father will be livid!"
"Well perhaps.... it's rude not to give thanks to such a nice guy such as myself."
And at that he walked away angrily. He drove off before I really even had a chance to absorb how upset I really was. I can't beleive someone can be so obnoxious! The waiter came over nervously.
"Um, I'm sure this is a terrible time... but the bill still hasn't been paid." You could tell he felt terrible about it so I held back the loud rant that was building up inside of me. His name tag said bill in sharpie, his messy handwriting in the four letters were so large they dominated the mandatory item.
"Well Bill, that's quite alright. After all of that I'm not too concerned with paying a little extra money." He looked extremely relived and I handed him my cash reluctantly. We gave each other weak smiles and he scurried off. I sighed and walked out of the restaurant where animals heads were dressed in scarves and hats scrutinizingly.
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