{(Reunited with Tucker.... I'm glad he still loves me.)}

Great. Laura and I are already talking about prom and now it won't get off of my mind. Why, would we do this to ourselves. Girls suuuuuuuuck. Anywayyy. Just got back from my sisters again. I've almost spent about a week there. Just stayed an extra day so I could babysit Kaden for an hour and because we went out to eat at a place called Emo's for my grandma's birthday. :) very tasty. Although they decided to give me steak instead of tofu. Silly people, I'm a vegetarian. Steak is meat. Over the weekend Laura my family and I stayed at my grandparents lakehouse. Even though the weahter was really rainy and was pretty cold for august we still had a buncy of fun. Laura and I have a new thing to add to our list of sleeping a different place everytime she sleeps over. Besides the obvious at the lake house, we slept on a trampoline. Wait, not done. It was a water trampoline... Hold on, not only was it a trampoline in the middle of a lake, it was also 2am in the morning and about 56 degrees. We cray cray. We took way too many videos of course as well as photos. We act like we're famous and people care what we're doing, but the truth is that no one really cares. So riddle me this. What becomes of 1,000's of photos and videos by two girls no one knows. The answer is nothing. I'm deciding not to rant about fame and nobodies. It'll be neverending like the stories. Yepp, it's a refference. So school starts in 7 days. Really really, not ready to go back. Physically or emotionally. I decided to try and get a job in the winter and a few weeks in the begining of summer to get some mulah. That way I can get my grades to all A's and B's so that when I work I won't fail my ass out of High School. What What! Oh my, almost forgot to tell you I had really perplexing dreams last night. Like freaking always, I was at a paramore concert with Laura. And they fucking hated me. Like pure hate. Well actually just Hayley and Jeremy hated me.

It kinda started with Laura and I way in back, just like at the actual concert but it was at the small planet. Can't see anything and trying to take way too many pictures and videos... Then a whole bunch of people cleared out. I have no idea why but they did. So of course We ran straight up to the front. Then Hayley was like, "Steafene, why are you up here?" And some dude pushed me, so I pushed him back really hard and yelled at him a bit. Then she turned to me and was all pissy and was telling me not to push people and even though he was a douche too I didn't need to be a bitch. She rolled her eyes and then said something to Josh and they started playing Misery Business. So then I lifted up my camera to take a couple photos but she looked at me and pointed to my camera and shook her head. So I agreed not wanting to further piss her off. She never came over to our side of the stage after that. Then we moved to stage left in front of Josh even though he usually plays on stage right... Zac was really really close to the edge of the stage and it was his 14 yr old version. So we chilled watching him for a bit and ignored Hayley's hate. Then Josh randomly lit a cigarette and was blowing the smoke in everone's faces. For some reason I found it really really attractive. For some reason I guess I couldn't talk that much, so I pointed to his cigarette and then to my mouth cause I wanted it. Again, idky. Anyway, he looked at me and was like, "What are you looking for?" Then he go superdy duper close and I could hear his voice, very clearly. I feel like I actually spoke to him. Next thing, he was shoving his lip ring in my face with his eyes closed. Even in my dreams I contemplate things. Lol. I was just gonna kiss his cheek and be polite and not a band slut but I full out kissed him instead... for a while... And after I saw Hayley staring at me with her mouth open and you could tell she was pissed. That made me sad, but oh well..... And even in my sleep I was thinkin, man. Wait till I tell Laura. Apparently she wasn't next to me anymore I guess. Weird eh?

So, this week I'm going shopping with my mommy on her day off work. Gonna get some hair dye cause I know what I'm doing with my hair now finally. Also, I really need a bunch of school stuff. Mainly the essentials like some pencils, and a backpack lol. Maybe we can stop at the better health store as well, get some tofu and some marshmallows without geletin to make some of my beloved fondant. I'm excited to make a really pretty cake. It's so easy to make. :) Ok, well I've got to go day dream. Blog later :))

@fandamntabulous yepp, i'm on twitter :)

So idk, but I don't really feel that good right now. So I'm looking through some photos of William Beckett which I haven't done for a year or so. I've found some really really cute ones like.....

this one for example... He has the best puppy dog eyes I have ever seen. It's something I can't resist. Oops I guess I shouldn't tell you but oh well. LOOKIT! It just makes me wanna.... Hug him and never let go. Haha, see I feel better now. You wanna know what he's looking at? Or at least my theory. He's on the internet, and he found a pair of long skinny jeans 5 sizes too small for him, but he doesn't have enough money to get them :(

Today has been mucho weird. So it started me going to Brianna's early in the morning like always. I'm over because she was nice enough to take me to a baseball game. <3 So there was this really cute guy there that was alone. Basically Taco Bell all over again. But for some reason I was super nervous just even thinking about talking to this guy. Like, really bad. It was weird cause I usually don't have trouble speaking with people. No matter their level of attractiveness. Laura encouraged me to being the nice friend she was but whatever. I was nervous, give me a break. I guess that because I annoy so many people by being "confident" or whatever you wanna say, I need some days to be super nervous so that it levels itself out? Anyway, Laura texted me a while later after that saying that Hayley Williams had posted her number on twitter. My hands really started shaking. oh well. And evertime Laura texted me my heart skipped a beat, because of course I texted the number almost right away. So kids, sometimes in life, no matter how hard you want something to be true, and no matter how hard you belive it to be, it just plain isn't true... Crazy Star Wars fans I'm looking at you. Obviously it wasn't her number. She thought that she was playing a prank on her friend that worked at a plumbing store or whatever. But really, she just broke a little girls heart. ouch. So that's why I ended up looking at like 300 pictures of William Beckett. No lie. It sincerely helps. :)

Ok more happy thoughts....

Oh, my.... Really happy thoughts. So yeah.

Now that I'm done staring. Things to look forward to:

1.) amazing dreams thanks to ----->

2.) sleep. yum.

3.) Get to see people thursday, for a horrible reason but whatever. positive.

4.) Laura and I are about to go on vacation with Brianna and Carly to my grandparents lakehouse and it's going to be amazingly fun. :) Night.

Alright, there should be a part about my baseball game, I'll just explain later it doesn't wanna let me post it :(

Fast Times at Brianna's house...

Talking with Laura on aim about live chats and such. So Laura came over to spend the night at Brianna's house last night since I had to babysit once more. No matter where we are we have fun. We watched the Final Riot! and tried to ignore my really drunk and high sisters singing very loudly to the songs that we waited about 3-4 hours to hear. Either way it was awesome, I've been meaning for Laura to watch it cause now that we've FINALLY seen them live it's so much more amazing to watch the dvd. And plus she's a bit infatuated with a certain guitarist.... And now that she gave me the link... operation make laura faint is in full speed.

Haha, you're never gonna stop seeing this photo... and others. Anyway... So David Dalen being the ham that he is.... Was doing a live chat while Laura was over and we watched it cause we were bored. Anyway. I decided to repeatedly call him on *67 because like I said, we were bored. So it just proved that you really don't have to do anything to be famous. I wondered why so many people cared about him when I know him and he's really not like the most fantastic person on the face of the planet. He's cool, but not as cool as jesus. Anyway, he put my phone number up on his screen thinking he was being cool and "getting me back" But I love talking to people and his point was to piss me off which it didn't so..... People kept calling me and texting me, and they agree that david is in a freaking glass closet and that even though I dooo sorta sound like I had a sex change (thanks you very much Hazel) that I don't suck and I have a life. According to David I don't. All he did that day was surf and apparently my hanging out with friends all day, babysitting, and band practice isn't fullfilling. Oh and I have no friends. Just recapping to show you guys how little he knows. So Laura and I decided that we are going to have a live chat next time I'm at her house because we're more entertaining than him. We're going to steal his fans, have ppl call and annoy him and it's gonna be super fun. We need ideas though for what to do. All we have so far is that, and I'm gonna be "sex change" Steafene. Wow, my parents suck, I just spelled my own name wrong. hahha.

One of my best friends Lena moved to Florida just recently. This not only sucks for the obvious, but her Hilena and I started a band last year and haven't really gotten a chance to really do anything with it. But the connection that I have with Hilena is nothing like what happens when we all get together. I was reminded because she was able to come back into town for a couple of days for her cousins wedding. So of course she called the both of us and we went to our usual spots downtown and played music and caught up. It was hard having to say goodbye again but it was completely worth it. She brought her new guitar which I love. Not sure what model it was but it was a really nice brand new epiphone. Anyway, we had so much fun downtown. She showed us her new song she's been working on and like always it's amazing. She has a real talent for writing songs. No joke. I'm excited to see what she does with the future and hopefully she finds some great people to play with where she lives. I'm sad that my musical sole mates can't stay together, but it's a musical break up I guess. Plenty more pickups in the guitar store? Bad analogy. Oh, and they're a bit shy, and when we went to taco bell Hilena kept pointing out this guy that was rather attractive. And that's all she did. So I asked him if he wanted to sit with us because he looked VERY alone. He said yes because he turned out to be a really friendly guy, but I don't know if it was more fun meeting him or watching their faces go from "awe cute" to "HOLY SHIT! I have nothing to say." Very funny, they almost forgot to introduce themselves. I think that Lena died when he won her a free burrito. Haha. Good times. But were really stupid, we should've invited him to a show or something cause now.... we're never going to see pre med school student Carmen? or whatever his name was. We'll deal even though he was the epitome of hot.

So when Laura was over we stayed up till almost dawn like always but we slept in Carly's room. I was just talking about how freaky things happen to me in the hour of 3 am, and Like maybe 20 minutes past the window treatments in her room moved like a whole bunch and then her door opened. We both were like... uh, we'll say that the window is probably open and that the door wasn't fully closed. But we both knew it wasn't and in the morning we saw that the window was securly shut. WTF??? So freaky. Way to prove me right ghosts. I'm sorry if I freaked you out really bad too Carly by telling you that. I forget that you kinda get scared easily. If it makes you feel better you can just go with my dad's theory that really doesn't make sense cause he's a skeptic.... Ok, I'm about to rant about nothing even more so than already and sound like David so I'm gonna finally try and finish some more of Laura's story which I'm failing at.


Does this make anyone else heartbroken? If the answer is yes it's about to get worse. We all know Shaant is a complete and total arse. And a bit of an alcoholic from time to time.... or all the time. But for some reason we still love him. Seriously. But because of these facts, Cute is what we aim for has finally broken up. It was obviously coming from all the arguments and band member changes. But it still hurts. I'm so glad that Laura and I got to go see them at the small planet now. I will forever love you CIWWAF and I hope that all the members do well for themselves, Jeff, do good in college and Shaant, quit drinking.

{(Adore part 2)} It's just a whore hoard.

I was so busy writing that super long post I didn't write the next chapter in Laura's secret life... It would have made the last post extra ridiculous anyway. So here goes... What will happen to Laura in chapter 2?

She carefully unfolded the small paper. The excitement was rising. Anyone would expect it to be a number. So was she so wrong for thinking so? Her fingers shook a little, slowly peeling back the last fold wanting to see his carefully written numbers on it. Maybe a nice little call me or something guys tend to do. Her face dropped. The disappointment was almost unbearable. Instead of the wonderful numbers that SHOULD be written upon the paper, were just too inadequate words.

Hope to see you soon.

Who would write that? That's pretty much the worst thing that could be on there. Hope to see you soon? Well maybe, that would be a tad bit easier if I had your number... Ugh, how frustrating. Well, maybe this wonderful person just wasn't mean to be in my life. I could feel my purse vibrating from my phone. It pulled me out of a contemplative daze. Oh shoot. I forgot to call Steafene telling her that I was going to be late. Hopefully she would understand. In fact she would probably be so ecstatic about my day so far that she wouldn't even notice that I was late for our outing.

"Where are you?!" Steafene screamed into the phone, clearly over stimulated by the fun she was surrounded by. I instinctively jerked my head a couple inches away from my ear and that much further from my precious ear drum.

"I... Got held up. I have something to tell you later, but it didn't exactly end the way I had planned." I almost regretted telling her. She might just flip out and try to get more information that there really was.

"Sweet! I have super excited news also. But you gotta wait till tonight to find that out." Hmm. Something about her and William? Who knows, always something.

"Ok, well you need to get your little blond but over here. I just started making the veggie burgers and we're about to grill them. You're missing out on the fun."

"Alright, I'm on my way, save a garden burger for me will you?"

"Sure thing. See ya."

"Bye."

She hastily hung up the phone and I threw it back into my bag. I hurried out of the Starbucks and started walking home. I was so deep in thought that the hustle and bustle of Chicago left me unphased. My mind went of in a tangent of beautiful daydreams as my feet carried the rest of me in the direction they had memorized so well. Before I could completely end my thoughts I could start hearing loud music and loud talking. I didn't even bother going through the front door and just walked to the wooden fence on the left hand side of the house. I lifted up the black metal latch and pushed my way through. The sounds grew louder and now I could hear the movement of water. I walked at a comfortable pace through the grass and garden of my back yard headed for the pool.

"Hey, Laura's finally home!" I was greeted warmly by about ten friends.

"Hey guys, sorry I was late. I got held up at the Starbucks."

I spotted Steafene. She walked over from the grill and gave me a hug.

"So on the phone.... you mentioned you had something to share about exactly why you spent forever getting your soy whatever."

Ugh, I kinda hoped she had forgotten.

"Well, it was... this guy. Our drinks got mixed up because he ordered just about the exact thing. I had forgotten my wallet at home and so he was really nice and paid for my drink. But he wouldn't let me leave and wanted me to sit with him for a while. He was really cute so I wasn't really that opposed to it."

"That.... is awesome!" She reacted just about how I expected. Too excited to be mad.

"Yeah, all I know is his name though... It's Josh. He gave me this piece of paper but nothing really exciting. Just very curious." I handed her the piece of paper with Josh's neat hand writing on it. I watched her face turn from excited to inquisitive.

"I don't understand why he didn't give you his number or anything like that though. It seems really odd."

"I know, I wasn't really expecting that and I'm probably not going to see him again. He was a musician on tour so let's not make a big deal out of it."

"Wait! Are you talking about Josh Farro?? You seriously had coffee with freaking Josh Farro?"

"Y-yeah. How'd you figure that out!?" She caught me by surprise with her accurate assumption.

"Well, because they're in Chicago right now. More importantly, why are you not freaking out?!? He hopes to see you.......soon."

"Well, I didn't want to get over excited. Like I said, they're touring and I have no way of contacting him." It made myself a little sad. This dream of a reality was finally hitting me. Why didn't I just ask for a number or an e-mail or something.

"How can you be so sure that you're not going to see him again?"

"What am I supposed to do, stalk him at a paramore show and try to explain to the bouncers how I had coffee with him one day and I need to talk to him? Not going to happen."

She just sighed and half chuckled. She was acting a little funny. Then I remembered.

"You said that you had news to tell me as well?"

"That, my dear you will have to wait for tonight to find out about." She winked at me. At least I knew it couldn't be bad. She wouldn't wait to give us all bad news at the show tonight. It'd be pointless. I started to get a little anxious. Who knows what she has planned up her sleeves this time."

"....So I had to just tell her, look babe. It doesn't know the difference between sex time and next time. You can't just do that to me." I could hear our friend William saying to a group of guy friends perched on the mahogany banisters of the porch next to the pool.

"Oh.... my god. He thinks just because he made up a clever little rhyme that he can tell stupid stories like that. Maybe we should go try and keep the guys in order a bit?" Suggested Steafene with a bit of an aggravated look upon her face.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." I said trying not to laugh really hard at Bill spilling unwanted facts about his love life.

We sat around for a couple hours talking about random things, making fun of Steafene and William. Swimming in the pool was so much fun and it was really relaxing. Soaking up the last few rays that would exist befor the cold season of norther america hit. Not after long someone announced that it was time to head to the show. Everyone dispersed to do their own thing. The guys of course were ready about as soon as they changed out of their bathing suits while Steafene, her sister and I fought over who would be the first to take a shower. Eventually everything was settled and in a surprisingly short amount of time we were allmost ready to go. The boys bitched at us form the living room.

"We're going to be late because you ladies can't decide what fucking colour to put on your eyes."

"We're not going to be late. Steafene was starting to get upset from the ongoing distractions. Besides, it doesn't even matter if you guys are late or not. One, you're not even paying to go to the show and two, I don't want a reputation of going on stage looking like shit. So let me take an extra five minutes on my hair and makeup and we'll go. We'll let Brianna drive and I promiss you we'll be there on time."

"She's right you know, I've been driving like a maniac since before were born Will." Brianna piped in amused by the battle of the sexes argument.

"I'm the same age as you." Bill said defensively.

Sure enough, Brianna drove us like a maniac through the steets of downtown Chicago and got us to the venue alive thank God. We made it well enough in time for sound check. The headliner band already ran through sound check by the time we got there and Bill's band and Steafene's band ran through their set lists and got all their tuning out of the way. The kids started pouring in and finding the spots that they wanted and talking to the bands. Bill and Steafene's tour manager Dave called for them to go back stage. normally we go back with them but Steafene wouldn't allow it. Apparently it ruined the surprise she had in line. Our three other roomates and I stood in the back of the crowd by the bar to allow the fans better spots. Steafene's band was first, they're still pretty new so there were only about 6 people singing to the songs but by the end of the set everyone seemed to be having fun. We got our nightly shoutout and she introduced the academy is... onto the stage.

"And this is my boyfriend so back off ladies!" She said jokingly but you could tell she was mostly being serious.

They played their set and almost everybody sang along to the songs. Steafene and her bandmates came to the back to join us.

"I'm so excited for you to see!" She wouldn't stop smirking. I was actually getting really excited. TAI ended their set and everyone screamed like crazy.

"Alright, well brace yourself..."She hurried off back to the stage and hopped on.

"Thank you guys. And now we have a very special surprise for you. Are you guys ready?"

More screams

Both Mikes of TAI started playing Misery Business by paramore. Was this seriously it? Like a paramore cover is awesome but I don't think it was worth all the hype.

Everyone cheered and danced along to the music. I looked down to check the time on my phone and the crowd exploded in a cacophany. I looked up and Josh Farro was standing on stage. Playing the solo with all of my friends. Then out of no where Hayley Williams popped out on stage and she and Steafene shared the mic blaring their country vocals. They were harmonizing..... THEY PLANNED THIS!!! This was very worthy of the surprise. I was so overcome with excitment that I couldn't help but cheer with everyone else. They ended the song with a punch and everyone went absolutely nuts.

"Josh and Hayley from Paramore everyone." said Steafene waving her arm at the two musicians. Screaming.

"What do you guys think of the surprise eh? One hell of an encore if I do say myself." Bill egged on the crowd. "Our friends from fueled by ramen informed us that they had a day off their tour and we invited them out to give you guys a little extra something to smile about. So you guys were great tonight and I hope that you come and say hi."

Everyone on stage began to depart. A few of the musicians left. But Bill, the butcher, sisky, Steaf, Hayley and Josh stayed behind to meet fans and sign a few autographs. Josh eventually made his way over to me. I had no idea what to say.

"Well well. Miss soy, we meet again."

"Indeed. It's a wonder though considering you left me no way of contacting you."

"Bitter just like the coffee that brought us together. It's cause I knew we were playing this show. Steafene's told me about you."

He smirked and I shot a look at her. She glared at josh and shook her head then turned back to talk with bill and keep his fan girl a good distance away from him.

"So... It sounds like She hasn't really fully informed you on what's up huh?"

"Clearly. Wait.... hasn't? What else is there?"

"I supose I'm really not suppsed to tell you but... She and William offered us a place to sleep. You all live together?"

"Um yeah, you're, staying with us tonight?"

"Well actually a few nights. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh no, really it's just I'm more worried about the sleeping arrangements than anything else."

2:00 am that night

They ended up sleeping in our livng room. Josh on the floor and Hayley on the sofa. Now my mind really couldn't sort out all the thoughts. I had said goodnight to Steafene and bill and promissed Her that I would talk with her about her secrets but amazing decisions in the morning. I left their room and could hear Josh and Hayley talking, half asleep. I decided not to bother them and decided to just go lay down. I was drifting into a deep sleep and dreams started to flood my mind. I was sharply pulled to reality when I heard my doorknob turning... the door opened and I heard two soft footsteps on my carpet.

"Laura?"

{(Hypnotized by fireflies that glow in the dark)}

There, are you a little less mad at me no doubt? I quoated tragic kingdom, one of the best songs in the entire world. I really do love you guys, I promiss.

So I'm pretty deep in though right now. Listening to some brand new and whatever else is on my itunes. Can you belive that I have 71 paramore songs and counting? I'm missing about five songs that were never released on a cd a couple that were and then I'm gonna add 11+ when brand new eyes comes out. That's.... 88 songs and there's extra on the cd that I bought..... snap. Today was a day that took me quite a long time to fully appreciate. Hopefully that doesn't make me sound depressed because I'm not thank god. But I woke up realizing that lately I've been quite a bitch to a few people near and dear to me. I've been so sneaky in this that they don't even realize what I've been doing and I feel absolutly awful about it. I was being completely selfish in my own wants and sentiments that I really just wouldn't open my eyes to the fact that they need me to be a different person for them. It's not even a life long change, just a few more months or so of consideration so I don't understand why I hadn't just appeased them. I'm usually not a very religious person for a few reasons. I don't know exactly what I belive in though... I think few people do. This goes beyond knowing what specific group you "belong" in or what you've been told and have been saying for years but really KNOWING what you belive in. Taking the time to think about every possibility or thought anyone has every had or that you can think up on your own and deciphering it. Finding out how you emotionally react to this idea, what it means, and if you think that it's possible. And I think religion is one of the reasons that really parted me from these people lately. See these are people that a certain someone I know reffers to as "Hardcore Christians" These are the type of people that are NOT respectful towards others' opinions and ideas. They judge you based on every aspect of your life and if you don't comply, you're a devil worshiper. These persons have been telling me all the things I'm doing wrong with my life pretty much all my life. And I realized after a while... that I'm a teenager. I really don't need people I love telling me how everything I love is gonna buy me a ticket to hell. I really have enough to deal with learning about what kind of person I am and coping with the fact that 40% of the world will suck shit and learning how to block all of that out to concentrate on all the positive things. I wish so badly, that I could share my life with these people because I love them so much. But there's no way that this could ever happen. What if one day I decide to bring home a girlfriend that I love very dearly and they can't get past our differences to care about my feelings. But then again I haven't been very competant towards their wants and needs. So, in a way do I really deserve their approval of my "choices" or of my "distorted ways"? The answer is... no. No one really deserves any of that. We all make mistakes and we all hurt each other, but it's up to us to be the better person and make the effort to make them as comftorable as possible as long as it harms no one else. We may not deserve approval, and comfort. But if it affects us so badly, why shouldn't we get past ourselves to accomadate for others around us? If we are to truely try and make this world a better place, we have to put our minds beyond all of our drama and he said she said. Clearly as I admitted earlier in this post, I'm deffinately not calling myself perfect, or even good at being selfless and caring 100% of the time. But I really needed to say this, because perhaps someone else is dealing with the same thing. It's very likely and perhaps they're not dealing with things as well as could be handled. And I would love to give them something to think about. Differences shouldn't make us become so seperate from any human being who hasn't really done any harm. So in light of this conversation, or post rather I'm wearing a new shirt I just got that says "peace on earth" I realized I needed to wear it today so that everytime I saw what I was wearing I would remember that the negative thoughts I was having today about multiple reasons were completely unescessary and I needed to enjoy my life everyday for what it is which is a miracle. Also, I do NOT hate christians if any of you are getting that vibe from me. Really I don't. I was prodistant at one point in my life. I still have a majority of those values and beliefs with me today and I feel I will never let them go. I just don't feel that people should go around critisizing every move another human being makes day to day. For instance, I'm going to listen to music that wasn't recorded in a church. Most of the band that I listen to are the exact same religions as them, just not as diehard and rude I hope. But they ARE NOT the devil to any extent. I WILL keep reading books that teach me things and are enjoyable. And I most deffinatly WILL be wearing makeup of unatural non-neutural tones, dying my hair odd colours, wearing pants, singin, playing in bands, getting piercings, and tattooing my body. Sorry. But really, we worship the same god. How bad of a person could I really be?

Wow, I really didnt' realize how badly that upset me until I got the chance to really write it all out. I'm truely sorry for how I behaved and I'm asking for forgiveness tonight. My emotions were pretty tense today though cause I still feel like I'm doing nothing with my life and that I'm incapable of accomplishment currently. Like seriously the most exciting part of my day was...... well laundry? Music... going nowhere I'm getting worse everyday I can't practice and I don't have my vocal coach. School is gonna fucking suck and I need to pull money staright outta my you know what so that I can enjoy my last full awesome summer with laura before she leaves and I miss her like crazy. And I'm awful at writing songs without my band buddy here. Seriously my creativity is null wihtout her. We've clicked since the first day she asked me to play with her band. Seriously, I've never met people that I could learn an entire set list with in 5 or less practices in and play as good as we did for a debut. It was a pleasant surprise and now it's hard to widen my horizons. Seriously, Helina I love you. I need to work soo hard this year at doing well in everything. It's gonna be hard but hey, I only have 2 more years of high school left, then it's off to Douglas J the aveda institute to stuff my brain with knowlegde I will love and need. I really don't know what my plans are, but I want to go to this school so badly. It's in my town. Well hopefully, I get an appartment with my sister and our friend Carly there until my schooling is up. Then our plans as a group are to move to chicago for a while, sharing rent and working. I could take the Illinois barbering test, get my degree and find a salon near by which won't be too hard in Chicago. There's so many positives to this. It's NOT Michigan which already has my heart. Also there's a huge music scene there. Apparently it's really hard to get recognized there but either I'll be done with it after a few years and it won't really have anything ot offer me, or it really will and I'll find some amazing people there. So if it doesn't I really want to move to my beloved hometown that stays forever in my heart. Franklin TN. My goal is to move and live here eventually. Not necessary to move right after high school but that'd be tight. That's one direction, probably the most likely, taking the Chicago route. But then another very desireable route, would be to move to the UK with Laura. We already know that we could live together without killing each other. Plus who wouldn't want to do music in the UK? Only problem besides the money and the distance, is that I really want to do music in the US so that the work of crossing over seas wouldn't be there in what feel backwards to me. And My smaller dream of living in Franklin would probably never come to fruition. It's already gonna suck trying to be a musician when the music world is going through one of it's spurts of change and difficulty and there's so many small bands trying to make their way to the big leagues let alone being in a new place. I've studied the music industry here for my entire life. I'd have to make new plans at the snap of my finger. That doesn't sound fun. So anyways.... after venting my thoughts a great deal finally but not yet to the full extent which I'm not going to do for it'd be far too long a post, I feel much better. Way more relaxed, and hopeful for the future. :)

{(When repetitions ends, we'll star over)}

So since all my day consisted of really was cleaning and listening to music, I don't have much to write about. So Instead Laura and I were talking about how we're obsessed with writing stories. Problem is we never seem to finish them. Anyway, I'm making Laura her very own story as of today and I'll try to write it in chapters. It's gonna be a paramore fan fic obviously.

{{Adore}}

pt 1.

She pushed a lock of bright blond hair out of her eyes. Growing impatient from the never ending line of customers she exhaled. Slowly, person by person was cleared out of the Starbucks. She walked up to the cashier.

"Hi, how may I help you today?"

She hoped that this bubbly teenage girl would be able to take such a complicated order. According to her name tag it was her first day of work.

"Hi, I'd like a grande double pump vanilla single soy iced white chocolate mocha with whip and caramel sauce please."

"A, a what?"

She exhaled again preparing to rattle off the order once more. This happened often, but the coffee was well worth the confusion.

"A grande double pump vanilla single soy iced white chocolate mocha with whip cream and caramel sauce." She said making sure to carefully say each worth clear and audible.

She sat down at a nearby table and waited for her name to be called.

"....Laura?"

She gave an nod at the worker letting her know it was her coffee. She went up to the counter and looked down, but the coffee was missing the whip cream. She didn't want to be a bother so she was about to let it be since they were so busy today. But before she could begin to look for her wallet she heard someone speaking.

"I believe that we may have each other's coffee."

She spun around to see a tall handsome man behind her holding her coffee.

"I heard you ordering and we got the same thing only mine came without whip cream."

He smiled at her with a devilish smirk.

She really couldn't think of anything to say. She was so awe struck.

Coming hard back down to reality she remembered her human ability and spoke.

"Oh, here..."

She handed the coffee to the stranger.

Unbelievable, someone else really ordered this coffee? How is that possible, it's so specific?

"That'll be $3.75. Miss."

She whirled back around and remembered that she hadn't paid yet.

"OH! right."

She dug around in her bag for her wallet but to her surprise it wasn't there. She double checked everything. Frantically checking her pockets and looking back at the table she had sat at.

"Um... I think that I left it at home..."

"Did you now?" said the man.

He handed the girl a ten dollar bill.

"I'll be handling the check then." his voice was smooth.

"Oh, really you don't have to..."

"No it's alright. Besides there's a catch. You don't think that I'm about to just pay for you drink and let you be on your way do you?"

"Well I..."

"Right, so where are we going to sit?"

He scanned the room for an empty table. She wondered if she should amuse him or not. He walked over to a small table with two seats next to a window that outlooked a flower bed.

"Well...? I did buy you a drink first." he chuckled amused at his small joke.

She reluctantly walked away from the counter and headed towards the table. He did buy her coffee, she could at least talk to him for a few minutes. Plus he was absolutely gorgeous.

They sat in silence for a few moments gently sipping their coffee. She was contemplating just up and leaving but she couldn't get enough of staring at him while he thought of something to say. Each second that went by she noticed something else about him that struck something in her. It could've been his deep chocolate hair, or the olive tone to his skin or maybe a combination of both, but she struggled to tear her eyes from his body.

"So um, I couldn't help but notice you have a bit of an accent?" he implied she should elaborate on this fact.

"Yeah, I'm actually from London. My family moved here about 6 years ago."

"That's really cool. My band have toured in the UK, it's really one of my favourite spots."

(He's in a band too??)

"Yeah? What kinda band are you in?"

"We're called Paramore, ever heard of us?"

"Hah! you have no idea, my friend Steafene is obsessed with your band. I bet she'd flip if she knew where I was right now."

"Oh, so are you a fan too?" she could hear a slight of regret in his voice. His dark puppy dog eyes looked expecting.

"Well, I wouldn't call myself a super fan, but I do enjoy the music. In fact, I went to a concert with her once back in high school."

He almost looked relieved.

"So what instrument do you play?" She was becoming much more interested now.

"I play guitar and do some backup singing."

"That's cool. I try and play a little guitar here and there but I don't tend to sing that often." I laughed at the memories of my friend Steafene begging me to sing for her.

"SWEET! I could..." He was cut off by a loud ringing. He dug into his pocket and pulled out an iphone. He apologized for cutting into the conversation and answered his phone.

"Hello? yeah, I'm at the Starbucks. SORRY! I lost track of time. I'm on my way!"

He quickly put his phone back into his jeans and stood up.

"I'm sorry, we'll have to end this a little prematurely. I'm late for bus call and my band kinda freaked out. But I had fun talking with you....."

"Laura." She said.

"...Laura. I'm Josh. It was nice meeting you." He smiled and shook her hand. The touch made her shiver. She had barely just met him but she wanted more.

"It was nice meeting you too Josh."

It was upsetting to watch him walk out of the store, turn a corner and disappear out of sight. After a few moments of trying to grasps what had just happened, she noticed something different. There was a small piece of paper in her hand. Josh had slipped it to her so slyly she hadn't noticed.

The excitement rose as she opened the tiny folded paper to see what was written."

So that was part one. Not too interesting yet, but I'm not the best writer lol. So, stay tuned for part two of adore.

Join... I did.

Derrick Ray... Really?!

I'm changing my name. According to facebook that's what my name should be. Today was soo riddiculously long. I was super tired from all the long days I've had and went to bed earlier last night and slept in really, really late today. I slept so much that I'm almost as tired as I was yesterday. But I was having such good dreams that I really just didn't wan't to wake up. So I kept going back to sleep and before I knew it.... it wasn't the morning anymore. I won't go into detail, but seriously, when you're having such good dreams as these, you wouldn't be waking up either. We'll just say I really like row boats. I finally had the house to myself today. My grandparents went into town and they left in the am so I didnt' go with them, and my parents had to work. This means that I got to play screamo, as loud as I wanted in my room today, and got to watch what I wanted on tv, and last but not least... I got to play my beloved piano again. I missed you! I barely got to write anything cause I was too busy trying to remember how to play my evanescence songs and learn a new chiodos song. How do you feel about Lexington? I love it, very challenging on piano, very unlike bradley to write. (MI love) I'm having some major migrane issues right now so I think I'll stop focusing on writing and do something else... love you! and short posts.

Soo exhausted. That's all.

As I said I'm tired. Listening to songs from "A Crow Left of Murder." I'm not even gonna say the band because you should know. If you don't.... feel bad about yourself for a moment. Now go and find out. So spent another weekend at my sisters house. Only one night this time. But like always, we went to thrift stores and found this amazing one in Lansing. This chick, was sooo rich. no joke. But she's moving so all of her namebrand and designer cloathes that are super expensive she was selling for about a buck a piece. I got 10 dollars of stuff worth about 4-5 hundred dollars. But I need to save money really badly so no more impulsive shopping no matter how amazing it is. I'll explain in a sec.

Anyway, Carly and I had fun staying up to 2:00am in the morning after a long day that started early of running around at showers and doing errands and watching kaden. Which didn't help me when I woke up early to go do things today. Brianna and I went with Kaden to my grandma's house and she cooked us breakfast and we decided to go to the beach cause it was really hot today. Have you ever been to a beach with a 2 and 1/2 year old? Being in the sun and swimming for hours is exhausting enough, but watching him and having to play with him.... oh my. I feel an early nigth today.

But, really exciting news. Laura and Stefan (her brother and a friend/bandmate of ours) isn't going on their annual summer trip to Ireland year 2010. Why am I happy about this? Well, Laura being amazing and clever as she is, invited me to go with her. There are really too many amazing things to list about all the excitments this brings so I'll just list a few. One: I'd be in Ireland for a month with my best friend in the whole world. Like that's not reason enough. 2: We could kaiyak (sp?) to this island from where we'd be staying with seals... seals that go up to you. How awesome is that? 3: They're talking about taking a ferri to England (one of the places I've always wanted to go along with Ireland) which passes through Whales. Another awesome trip. 4: We'd be able to stay by ourselves still on her dad's land in a trailer. There's a bunch more but not enough space on the world wide web so.... There's only one catch. You probably already spotted it. I'm a teenager living in America. To get to Ireland, and hopefully, back home as well I might just need a form of transportation. But these cost money, lots of money. Now how do I afford for a round trip plane ticket, and vacation money for activities and such with a small collection of christmas, birthday, ecettera money without a job? I could get one... but ah, my parents most likely won't let me get one considering I live forever away from town and only have a driving permit. Hmmm. Babysitting? nope, can't make enough from that doing only weekends. The idea of a parental loan was tossed around, but by the time I pay that off, I'd be in non-terminal debt which post grad's from HS don't need. My best bet now, Is just to wait this school year and get part time jobs during slow time at school, and take maybe a week or so off before finals. I've tried avoiding working and going to school at the same time for so long, but this feels necessary and more than worth it. plus, if it proves to be too much I could always be horrible and quit my job. I'll never have a free weekend again until the trip. I guess it'll just make summer more worth while. Wish my brainstorming luck. I'm tired, so I'm just gonna relax now.

"Just to show how much her love, is worth the pain"

Listening to After Midnight Project <3 They're really cool people most of whom came from my high school and they write great music so you should deffinatly look them up. But Carly should've gotten me onto the warped tour this year but totally bailed on me. :( I guess Randy didn't have enough passes but It's cool because It's almost indeffinate that I can go next year and hang out with AMP, a few friends and go see free backstage shows. What more could you ask for???

That sounds super amazing but my life is usually pretty boring, like today. The most exciting part of my day was that my mom almost made me crash the car into the many trees around our house and driveway. Very freaky. But otherwise the rest of the day was usual. Listening to music, my daily workout, and texting Laura ALL day. We have no life....

But I am getting really excited for the decor that Carly and I have in store for our appartment. (I call It my appartment as well since I spend about 50% of my living time there. Still being welcome of course.) We already have plans for the colour schemes, designes, and themes. :) And this weekend we're going shopping for some more decorations and some fabric to make quick easy "portrait" type things. So cheap and easy, and they take up a good portion of blank space if you need it. AAAND, The protest that Laura started up against KFC! It's gonna be fun and super productive. I agree, this year is going to be great for our Animal Rights Club. We already have doubled our support by having one more person back in MI, and now that we know more or so what it's going to be like this year, we can better plan for year 2.

HAHA, wow. I just ranted to Laura via text about how amazing this companies hair product is... I can't help it, I love hair, and tresame is just sooo perfect. They watch out for me and my hair and make sure I'm not breaking the bank to buy their product. I love you. Speaking of hair.... I really need to call our family friend Melissa. She's a cosmetolegist. Typically a nail tech, but she started off on hair and knows about all the chemical mixtures and how to get the perfect colour and she's great with bleach from what I've seen. Sooo... the point. I bought a really strong box of bleach that I intend to use sometime soon. But, with the past experiences I've had with home bleaching by my mothers hand (no offense mom) I'd like to have it done professionally but salons always charge soo much for bleach so knowing her she'll do it for about 20 bucks :) since what I want to do with my hair is gonna cost a bit of mulah, I'd rather not start off paying 50 bucks for one colour. Cause after that I have to buy this red dye, and find some yellow or order it from sally's, and get my hair cut again. Not to mention products I wanna use which I'm okay at finding good prices for most of that. But I adds up so fast.

Bleach -$10

Red -$10

bleach job -$20

Hair cut -$20

yellow dye -$5

and the product I got added up to about just $5 we're taling a lot less money in the bank here... I could always cut my hair, but I've been doing that for 2 years, I kinda want to just pay for someone else to mess my hair up for once.

Wow, okay. I realize that I just talked about hair for a really long time. But try to understand that's nothing. Don't ever go to a store with me and let me alone in the beauty sections. I'll never leave. Sigh, talking about this makes me really excited to finish high school so that I can go to Douglas J. Can't wait to get my barbering degree!!!

And I found a new guilty pleasure that Carly and I share.... The cake boss. It's such an addicting show! I don't understand how he can make these cakes. I would fail at it soo bad and could not deal with the bridezillas. I think you should watch the show at least once. You fall in love :D

Nifty Thrifty (3 months!!!)

Today has been exceptionally awesome. Wearing a bracelet that Carly and I made at the jazz festival yesterday. I love it, so cheap but they look so expensive. So while we were at it, Carly and I made bracelets for our moms because both of their birthdays are coming up pretty fast. This morning Brianna made us some delicious sticky eggs. (they taste better than they sound.) and they're super easy to make. The thunderstorms and lightning were beautiful although a little unerving. I don't really like to wake up at 6:00am to the walls crashing and bright light flashing outside the windows, but all in all it was cool. Did some thrift shopping today with Carly and Randly While Brianna did some arrands and went to a baby shower with Kaden, my amazing nephew. Got some really cool things for good prices. Define the grate line, ($3.00) this awesome silver tea set and platter {don't laugh they're awesome!($3.00)} a sweet turqoise black and white houndstooth pillow, ($2.00) and this sweet victorian old fastioned alarm clock. ($3.00) I'm very happy with my findings and we plan to go back cause theres this insane sale. Who can deny those prices?


(randomness) Still reading twilight. Lots of distractions so I'm not that far into it, but so far it's a pretty good book, just not one of my favourites by far. OMG! Laura, just because Jimmy Robbins wears plaid shirts and doesn't drink ice.... you're gonna marry him???

ok Anyway....

So my day with Carly was awesome even though we didn't really do much exciting, and the rain jipped us of our fair plans but it was sweet. Especially spending forever in the makeup department complaining about prices and how everyone advertises the perfect red lipstick, but they always look pink when we where them. Love you Car.

Thuming through the pages of my fantasies...

I'm at my second home for the weekend again. Carly Brianna and I plan on going to the jazz fest today in lansing. That'll be tight for sure. Watching Waynes world right now, one of the best movies ever made ever. Stacy is a freak. So I finally finished reading the last Harry Potter book a couple days ago. It took me so long because I didn't want to finally be done with them. Now theres no new material for such an amazing plot but it really is sooo good.



I've never been able to relate to wayne so much right now. When he's looking at the fender strat, totally not what i see. Instead it's a brand new gibson guitar. An ES 335 with a wammy bar to be exact. Man I want that guitar so bad. Someday I'll go into a guitar shop and I WILL play stariway to heaven and buy it. But right now the only thing that I want that I can have is some vegetable soup which I think I'll go start now....